"How Do You Feel?" By Karen Faye

[ILLigitt]

"How Do You Feel?" By Karen Faye


Created: Sunday, 19 June 2005


That seems like the question that I am asked the most…. that, and the media begging for an interview or a sound bite. The answer to the second question is a radical “NO!”

There is absolutely no way I want to give the media one second of anything that belongs to Michael, just so they can get one more minute of ratings, a job advancement for themselves, or some more money in their greedy little paws, even if it is just me. I am not what they want. They just want another piece of Michael, and they are NOT getting it from me. I hold every moment we spent together sacred and personal. That belongs to us. My silence is the ultimate allegiance to my friend and hero.

The only one that has the authority and integrity to speak, at this time, is Thomas Messereau. He must speak in order to balance those scales of justice… remember that symbol?

I have been at “ground zero” throughout the entire year and a half. From the second day of production of ONE MORE CHANCE shooting in Las Vegas when my wake up call was interrupted by a news alert and helicopter shots of a raid on Neverland; the airplane ride to Santa Barbara where I witnessed Michael’s arms being twisted behind his back to slam shackles on his wrists. My heart has been in shackles until I heard the words NOT GUILTY repeated over and over again. Now how do I feel?

I AM FILLED WITH RAGE!!!!! I saw my dear friend go slowly from a vibrant, creative, loving man to a frail, broken hearted, human being. He was repeatedly raped (emotionally and mentally robbed and destroyed by force and violence). Day in and day out, in the courtroom and in the media, he was abused and violated in the worst possible manner in front the entire world, and me.

How do I feel? I am glad that the jury finally came to the same conclusion we knew all along. And what was the purpose of torturing this beautiful human being not only by a few ignorant (lacking a sense of awareness) lawmen, but also by a media willing to participate in the crucifixion for greed? I am ENRAGED!

I am trying to find the peace in my heart to forgive. Rage is a useless and horrible emotion to carry. Over this past week I have tried to cry it out. I went to the Neverland Gates on vindication day and tried to “hug” it out with all of my friends who marched beside Michael on this journey. I am still working on it.

Michael shared so much with me every day, and I still can not even conceive of how his body and heart is feeling now. All I do know is that Michael needs to recover (reclaim, recuperate) from this most heinous act that anyone could have put him through.

I know he needs to find peace. He did share with me his desire to be ALONE with his children… for him NOT to speak or see any one for a long time. I know he said this to also include me, not in any selfish or greedy manner, but for his own survival. I will respect this completely. But also in the same breath, he shared his love and gratitude for all of his friends that stood by his side.

I know we have so many feelings deep within us that need to be expressed. Many of us feel elated and want to party, some want to bow their heads in prayer and give thanks, and I have my rage to work through. Whatever we may be experiencing, let us please be respectful of Michael’s healing process and give him the time he needs to be able to regain his spirit to the fullest.

I have confidence that the artist, the God energy that dwells in Michael, will not be able to remain still. I am sure the music is still dancing in his mind. I am excited to know how his experiences will translate into his art.

Please, all of his friends, be patient and let us learn, and put the negative behind us quickly.


Let us turn this page with all the knowledge that we have gained. Let us leave Michael in peace. He KNOWS we are here… and waiting for him.

Lets keep dancing.


Karen Faye

[ozzylane]

Thanks Chris for putting this here. I read it on mjjsource yesterday! It is, as you say, effin' awesome.

[Kellie]

I have confidence that the artist, the God energy that dwells in Michael, will not be able to remain still. I am sure the music is still dancing in his mind. I am excited to know how his experiences will translate into his art.

i'm excited about that too, his next project will kick ass!

[tajv006]

thanx
very much Chris,

for I could not open it earlier today

[tajv006]

but now I know why I am still sad--if "why" is even necessary !
sad and enraged....

maybe this can fit in here:

earlier in the supermarket (kroger's) a woman (and her husband( was in line behind me and I spoke to her a lot since I can't be UNfriendly.

the national enquirer was at the left end of the tabloid/magazine rack in the check out line

it said it knew hoe mihacel "beat it"

i did not pay any more attention to it and di dnot read it--just looked at the headlines and the pictures, I kept thinking about the picture for it made him look "older" than ever before and wrinkled.....

she picked it up to take home with her
put it under her arm as she and I waited for this woman's pricing problems to get straightened out--and we waited !
so got fed up and left that line to go to the self checkout lines
but I could not hold my breath anymore about her wanting to read that vulgar thing--and she was very very sweet too!
as I went past her, I said to her "michael jackson is not guilty"
"oh I know she said !"
"so why are you ...going to read that ...it will",...."I know... it will make my mind... oh what did she say?...... anywys all of this is nothing really just a sentence or two yet I felt myself start to cry as I tried to say don't read that sh*t without saying it like that (it will poison your mind) and I was glad I was walking away for i felt such a sudden rush of emotion flare up over that f**king "magazine" and all that has been done to Michael Jackson

[tajv006]

I think that the people in these MJJ fanclubs who fight are making a mockery of the whole thing. I don't care who does what, who starts what, who attacks and who counter attacks. It is wrong. There are people here who think I did someone wrong, and I have not....unless somehow it is wrong to tell someone to get out of my life and stay out. The only people who fight with me are supporters of her. I want her away from me and not fighting with me and no longer making accusations she started making long before I ever asked one person for advice. No one in these two fanclubs know the story and the truth. People do not seem to listen to my side of it and listen to hers. People don't seem to say a word until I speak up . someone is forcing herself on me and has been since february 2004 and I demand it stop. There are no more second chances and attempts at reconcilliation. There never were and real double messages. And Harsh letters? You ought to read the ones sent to ME.

Is anyone going to tell her to stop? or are more people going to mock me by making more accusations and believing lies and distortions and more threats of "blackmai"l....no one has anything on me, for I would tell anyone anything I have said to anyone on earth. and I would tell it accurately and honestly.

Is anyone going to tell her to stop forcing herself on me and are her friends ever going to stop lashing out at me for her?

I know no one is going to defend me and no one is going to stop mocking me.


How would any of YOU like to be forced to be involved with someone for over 1.5 years when you don't want to be because it is emotionally unhealthy for both people?

none of you would . none of you would.

so don't anyone ever again tell me to forgive her for I have at least 3 times and every time, accusations and dishonesty ruins it and to be absolutely clear

this forum is about Michael jackson and not about ME

[fatimah2001]

i hope she doenst try to marry him!

[fatimah2001]

Originally Posted by tajv006

I think that the people in these fanclubs who fight are making a mockery of the whole thing. I don't care who does what, who starts what, who attacks and who counter attacks. It is wrong. There are people here who think I did someone wrong, and I have not....unless somehow it is wrong to tell someone to get out of my life and stay out. The only people who fight with me are supporters of her. I want her away from me and not fighting with me and no longer making accusations she started making long before I ever asked one person for advice. No one in these two fanclubs know the story and the truth. People do not seem to listen to my side of it and listen to hers. People don't seem to say a word until I speak up . someone is forcing hersolf on me and has been since february 2004 and I demand it stop.

is anyone going to tell her to stop? or are more people going to mock me by making more accusations and believing lies and distortions and more threats of blackmail....no one has anything on me, for I would tell anyone anything I have said to anyone on earth. and I would tell it accurately and honestly.

is anyone going to tell her to stop forcing herself on me and are her friends ever going to stop lashing out at me for her?

I know no one is going to defend me and no one is going to stop mocking me


How would any of YOU like to be forced to be involved with someone for over 1.5 years when you don't want to be because it is emotionally unhealthy?

none of you would . none of you would.

so don't anyone ever again tell me to forgive her for I have at least 3 times and every time, accusations and dishonesty ruins it and to be absolutley clear

this forum is about Michael jackson and not about ME

[tajv006]

I am in this fanclub for one reason and it is the same as most of you , I would think:
because people are trashing Michael Jackson and it hurts !

It hurts me immensely, people, more than I know how to express.

I did not come here to be forced into an unending "relationship" and watch people defend her or seem to defend her in some cases.

I did not come here for me but for Michael Jackson and it pains me no end that I have had to contend with exactly what the internet is reputed to be.

I am here to support Michael and to support his fans. I am not here to be drawn into arguments.

People who do this are mocking the whole purpose of a fanclub and having been drawn in and not seeing any way to get out, I live ashamed that I am a part of personality conflicts and a target for some people. It is not fulfilling for me to be here for here I am a target just like Michael has been a target. And for the same reasons: some people do not like him.

No one on this planet has a true right to fight over personalities or ideas and ideologies. No one has a right to fight over money, land, Gender, Race, Nationality, Religion, levels of Intelligence or physical coordination etc.
There is no valid reason for interpersonal conflicts like this or for international war. There is no valid reason for sexism or racism.

We are here solely to take care of this world not to destroy it.
We are here solely to take care of each other not to destroy each other.

People lash out at fatimah too. I suspect that she would never say a single harsh word if people did not treat her like an outcast.

There is no room in a fanclub that supports a man (MJJ) who stands for universal love, for people to do one single mean thing to any one at all.

It does not matter who starts what, once there is personality friction each and everyone of us should be unwilling to press forward with it. Any personal differences should be handled with love by all of us.
We should embrace people we don't like and that is exactly why I got drawn into this nightmare of relentless accustations that have no basis in fact. I do not seek to make anyone look bad to anyone. That is not my heart and is not my "style" and is not my personality.

I do not do unto others what others do to me ! and I am utterly sick of it all. I am sick of being accused of doing somethig not in my soul to do.

[fatimah2001]